My irrelevant text posts #7.

Posted on May 28, 2011

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Okay, I made that up. I’ve lost count. I just like the number seven. Haha. You see, I barely post legit text posts and when I do, nobody really reads them. That can be a good thing sometimes. So here it is, completely-uninteresting-text-post-that-nobody-even-reads #”7”.

You know that feeling when you work so hard for something, but the universe didn’t conspire with you to achieve that? It’s as if God is saying that you’re wrong for thinking that what you want is the best for you. Well, I’m used to things not turning out the way I expect them to. I’m getting so used to it that I’m always thinking that it’s either I don’t get what I want or I’m gonna lose something if I get what I want. And then I get confused. I don’t know if I should have worked harder or I should just let go.

It’s the whole expectations vs. reality scenario all over again. Like senior year in high school all over again.

I was planning to transfer out of UP Baguio and into UP Diliman after a year. Well, actually I could but I’ll have to wait for another semester. I could if I had a strong sense of self and wasn’t such a dumbass for choosing the wrong courses. I mean really, Journalism?! I don’t even remember the last time I read a newspaper (I sort of have my parents to blame for that though). Anyway, even in my college applications in senior year I used the famed eenie-meenie-minie-moe method in choosing courses because I had pretty much a blurry view of what I’m good at. I went from Clothing Technology to Film. I’m either really talented to fit into any field or just plain all over the place. One thing’s for sure, I was never the best decision-maker.

I didn’t completely fail to get in to Journ, I just got waitlisted. So, it’s another sem for me in UPB. That sem could turn into a year, who knows. But I’m okay with it. This is just like when I found out that I’m gonna be in UPB for the first time. A bit disappointed but hopeful. The only difference was that back then I really had no idea what I’m supposed to do. I was also really into the whole Skins lifestyle then so…that probably contributed to my being a failure.

So yeah. Another sem, same place. God knows if by the second semester I’ll be staying here in Manila.

Kids, it’s really important for you to know what you’re good at, what you want, and what makes you happy. You just have to know what you want or else you’ll just get lost in the world. If you really know what you want, then working hard for that would come naturally. Take Tumblr-ing for example.

Summer is about to end. By the end of the month I’ll be taking a 7-hour bus trip to the cold, Korea-esque city of Baguio. I could just imagine myself going all “the hills are aliiiiive….” and stuff. Really, I am happy to be going back. I’m getting excited to see an array of mountains beckoning me to be at one with nature once again. I’m excited to feel once more the kind of freedom that Manila could not give me.

Actually lol I’m just excited to live without parental control.

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