20 (possibly effed up) things that happen when you fall in love

Posted on February 17, 2014

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I mean, I’m already effed up but this stuff is even more effed up for me.

1. You have a shitload of stuff to do and you can’t help but put that on hold because of your feelings.“Oh look, I still have a bunch of articles to analyze BUT HEY LET’S LIE DOWN AND OVERTHINK BECAUSE THAT’S COOL.”

2. You make absurd connections on every single thing they post on social media. You do even more content analysis on his posts than on your undergraduate thesis. Please, he totally posted that on purpose because you happen to tweet about it centuries ago. He totally posted something about this certain movie because it the main character reminds him of you. He made a commentary on this certain book because the plot totally parallels your lives. And also, that random song/movie/WWE commentary he posted has something to do with him trying to catch your attention. Of course.

3. You can’t help but look for them in every place you go. It’s even worse when you go to the same school. You changed your route from around Building X to around Building Y even if your usual route is much more convenient? Of course I believe that you did that for recreational health purposes, not because you’ll get the chance to pass by his building. Of course.

4. You start looking into the terrifying future. Then you’ll get pressured to be successful. This is actually both bad and good. You can be a professional journalist/PR person/advertiser and he can be a *insert cool profession here* and you can totally live in together in some awesome apartment in downtown New York with two dogs and a parakeet. Then you’ll be thinking about whether or not it is okay to name your kids Luke and Leia.

5. You repeat every conversation you have ever had with them in your head. Every. Single. One. Then you start making an analysis so in depth it could get you a PhD. See number two.

6. You, and everyone else, seem to notice changes in you. Why do we need to abruptly deduce that a girl’s strangely different but beautiful smile is due to a blossoming lovelife? Come on, people.

7. Everything reminds you of the person. It’s like, there are road signs everywhere pointing to that person. Be it people with the same name as him, a band you both like, a number that appeared on his shirt ten years ago…

8. You start thinking about what their family might be like, and if your parents would get along with his. Same case with friends. You start daydreaming of meeting his siblings and going all “big sister” on them. Then you start thinking of whether or not YOUR cousins would get along with his siblings or cousins or…dogs or whatever. I am scary, you guys, I’m telling you.

9. You assume malicious intent with every single interaction this person had with the opposite sex. Sometimes even with people of the same sex. Then you start thinking of whether or not you’ve made the recurring mistake of falling for someone who does not prefer you, or rather, your gender.

10. All the love songs start to make sense, and you hate yourself for relating to them so much. Taylor Swift really is a genius.

11. You start thinking of what this person likes about you, then you doubt, then you hate yourself. Like, I could never be good enough so it’s okay if you find someone else. I’d go all “WTF I liked that?” if I were you, too.

12. You research everything they like. And find out if maaaaaybe you could get into them as well.

13. You start to adopt the person’s mannerisms/catchphrases. You do, you just don’t want to admit it.

14. You live in fear that they’ll find out your loser-psycho side. And they’ll stop liking you for that.

15. You act as if they’re always with you. It’s like, you pretend they’re with you when you’re walking alone. In social media, you post as if they hang on to your every word. Unfettered narcissism, so it may seem.

16. Stalkersville. You may have already established yourself as an accomplished social media stalker but this new lovey-dovey will propel you to Sherlock Holmes levels of investigatory expertise. And of course you don’t check his *insert social media site* every day. Of course you don’t.

17. You think about how perfect you are for each other, or how you are the best one for them. You start thinking about your traits and how these mesh well together with his. According to that DiCaprio movie, falling in love means believing that you are the perfect person for them, or something along those lines. The universe totally conspired to bring us together. Because we are so meant to be. Like, 4ever.

18. You start putting in extra effort with your appearance in hopes of running in to them. DON’T PRETEND THIS IS NOT  TRUE

19. You think other people are hot stuff but at the end of the day this person will make his way into your head. And he’ll stay there. Then it’s like, no one else will ever come close. You have this idealized version of them and you realize that it IS idealized most probably because, I don’t know, YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THEM. They use grammatically incorrect words sometimes but you still think it’s damn adorable. They may fuck up but in the end you still like them. As the song goes, when your heart’s on fire, you must realize smoke gets in your eyes.

20. You live in fear that they’ll find out that you might probably possibly maybe just a little bit love them. But for some reason, you want them to. And that fucks you up.

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