In defense of the Chickenjoy and organized religion

Posted on August 14, 2014

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Chicken-joy

Commentary (or random bitching) on the current state of things. There’s just way too much stuff happening right now H E L P

Hello, cyberworld! It’s the second week of August as well as my second month here in Dubai and I feel a little less homesick now. I gotta say, being somewhere far away from home really motivates me to do nothing with my life for a while and marathon TV shows and movies for twelve hours straight. That, and take French lessons. And memorize 1960’s France Gall songs. And Tumblr to death. I’m at the prime of my life and I’m broke and unemployed and I don’t even care anymore. From school I am free, c’est la vie. I’m living the life, yo!

Please don’t think I’m some careless slob with no future. Trust me, I have accounts on JobStreet, LinkedIn, and some other UAE job agency site I forgot. I’m totally prepared to adult. Toootally.

Anyway, let me proceed to my world-changing commentary (see: bitching and ranting) on the recent events that everybody’s been bitching and ranting about.

1. #ChickenSad

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO CHICKENJOY THAT’S LIKE ONE OF THE BEST CHICKEN I’VE EVER TASTED SINCE I WAS IN DIAPERS DAMN IS THERE NO HOPE FOR THIS WORLD

2. UP MBT wins something

To be totally honest, I thought the bonfire would be bigger. Haha. So I’ve heard that the other varsity teams are complaining about receiving not that much support compared to what our beloved basketball team gets. What can I say? Everybody’s loco for basketball in this country. Some things are underrated and it hurts. Such is life. After a two-year losing streak, who would not be shocked? Now, whether or not the purpose of the bonfire was to show celebration or sarcasm, it’s up to you. I’m somewhere in the middle.

We love you, varsity teams. You go varsity teams, four for you varsity teams. I’d propose bonfires for every win if I could.

3. Nora Aunor is this year’s Gawad Plaridel awardee #missedopportunityforaselfie

Is it just me or things start to get pretty eventful every time I leave somewhere. Oh well, at least I still have selfies with Pete Lacaba, Bienvenido Lumbrera, and Rio Alma. 

4.#GlendaPH left the Acad Oval looking like Jumanji

Grilled cheesus.

5. MRT derails and I don’t know what to feel about commuting in the Philippines anymore

Obviously due to the state of our beloved country, hold-uppers are sprouting in jeepneys and every other form of land transportation everywhere like daisies. Like me during my thesis days, the MRT has always been in a constant state of breakdown. There’s always somebody jumping in front of the train, crap signaling, power out, apocalyptic plagues, etc. Cheesus crust, this g-damned train. Let’s just all get jetpacks and hovercrafts.

6. Dingdong and Marian are engaged

I don’t know why but for some reason I feel like this is such a big event. Oh Philippine media, what have you done to me.

Also, why is everybody getting married these days

7. Palparan is captured

Justice, baby steps to justice.

8. Robin Williams is dead

And so is my childhood.

9. That new Ariana Grande video looks like a cheapo rip-off of “Oops! I did it again”

Sorry, Ariana.

10. Is a Black Widow movie too much too ask?

Srsly.

11. Ebola virus outbreak

On a constant state of paranoia when someone near gets a fever or whatever. No biggie.

12. Gaza is in a sad state and planes are disappearing everywhere

I’m in an Arab country and this scares me. I seriously considered getting a submarine home.

13. Fifty Shades of Gray? More like, fifty shades of nay (so witty oh my gosh am I right am I right)

I can’t believe something Twilight fan fiction-y is gonna be in theaters. Is it cruel to ask for theater officials to randomly open lights or something just to catch people jacking off, Punk’d style?

14. Lol this article. Oh the hypocrisy.

The Internet comments section is such a sad, dismal place. First of all, as I have pointed out on Twitter, not everyone belonging in an organized religion is a close-minded, unthinking drone. We have our own personal reasons for staying in it. While yes, the writer’s points are valid and I kind of share her sentiments, I believe that some people stay in an organized religion because of a personal relationship with God. Honestly, I barely care about what the majority thinks. I believe in my own way because having this kind of faith is closest thing I have to having hope in this world.

Side note: for me, organized religion works. Honestly, the world is turning Godless. Someone actually speaking up and proposing a system is the closest thing we have to bringing God back again. But the thing is, we can’t expect everything to be perfect, right? Especially for a religion that’s getting more and more massive?

And yes, as cynical and as jaded as I am, I still have faith. I just don’t show it that much. I have my own way of showing it. 

To no one in particular (bashers, maybe), no, you don’t know what it is like being in it so you have no right to say that members of a particular organized religious sect are mindless flock just as the members of such sect have no right to say that the members of other religions are mindless flock. This is a classic case of pot calling the kettle black. People outside the religion call the people in it “mindless” as they (the people outside it) sit facing the computer coming up with comments based on what they have heard from someone who *might* have stepped in one of the churches.

Can’t we all just respect each other? Oh wait, we live in the real world.

The real, amazing, and sickening real world.

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Posted in: Witticisms