Millennial Uncool

Posted on November 26, 2016

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Hello friend, I am a millennial uncool.

I tried fitting in, I swear I tried.

I straightened my hair, put on make-up, laughed and smiled and spoke the language of trends.

I couldn’t stand it.

I can’t help being uncool, so I stopped.

I guess some people have a penchant for dissent.

I grew out my wavy hair, rarely put on heavy make-up, scowled and did not laugh unless I have a good reason to do so.

I adapted a default cynicism towards trends.

I did not talk, act, and dress like the cool girls.

I did not internalize all the cool films, cool shows, and cool music.

I did not go to the hippest parties, they wear me out so easily.

I prefer being with people who wouldn’t mind sitting next to me saying nothing.

I did not hype on university sports or shiny, factory-manufactured entertainment.

School spirit has always been foreign to me.

Well, any kind of spirit is foreign to me.

Sometimes, I feel like the human incarnate of a cat.

However, I consume social media like a lot of my fellow millennials.

Virtual diaries and sentiments condensed in 140 characters seem to keep me sane for a while.

For a while.

Online, I am a mere speck in a shrinking world desperate for connectivity.

Sometimes I feel comfortable in my difference and anonymity.

Just a tiny speck bouncing off your echo chambers.

It gives me a sense of intimacy despite being deathly afraid of it.

Intimacy has always been difficult for me.

I hated online dating, I think it’s exploiting the notion of intimacy and love for capital gain.

It annoys me how people are content to jump from one person to another with just a single swipe.

I guess people generally annoy me, but I refuse to be a misanthrope.

I care about people, in an age when one is ostracized for either caring too much or too little.

I just despise people fueled by insincerity and ignorance,

People who refuse to care or be smarter.

There are other things I’d rather waste my time on.

If I were a color, I would be gray.

Boring, and never on the extreme side of things.

I’m too indie for the cool kids, too basic for the indie kids, too lower class for the rich kids, too bourgeois for the lower class kids, too mainstream for the cultured kids, too cultured for the mainstream kids, too pop for the punk kids, too punk for the pop kids…

I could go on.

I am millennial uncool.

I refused to give in to a society lacking in diversity.

I am not contented with a country whose indicators for success are limited to careers in the hard sciences, the corporate world, watered-down media, and exploitative outsourcing companies.

A country where progress is condensed in certain areas, where everything I want to experience is always far from me.

A country where the people who rebel against the elite are more likely to be part of the elite anyway.

A country where religion is a big enough driving force to ruin happiness.

This entire country bores me sometimes.

Then again, the world – if it doesn’t depress me – bores me sometimes.

I am millennial uncool, living in a country ruled by elitism and ignorance.

A country in constant conflict with itself.

Much like me, a girl who just doesn’t fit in anywhere.

But I gave up trying to be cool.

I just don’t give a shit anymore if nobody will love me for it.

I stopped trying so hard to be someone I’m killing myself trying to be.

I’m a millennial uncool, and I ‘m not forcing myself to be cool enough for you.

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